Excuse my language. I need to talk about my big chubby ass for a few moments….you see, it’s wide, and big. My fear is that it will get bigger. No, no– let me explain.
My doctor told me that my body is in “starvation” mode! I laughed. Seriously, I laughed…you’re telling me my body, well over the 200 pound mark is starving? Can’t it feed on that plump fat in my rear? Okay, maybe I’m a little out of control, but imagine my shock and surprise when my doctor said, you’re body is in a state of trying to hold onto everything it can– because it thinks you’re starving it.
That’s the thing….I’m not.
It’s this stupid medicine, and it wasn’t working. My body is storing everything it can as fat. Seriously…it’s like some bad joke, only I’m the punchline. We changed medications and it will take a few weeks to see if this helps. In the meantime, my arse could be getting larger.
I came home and started crying. I told my husband how much it upset me, and I’m scared if I gain anymore weight, he won’t want me, or won’t be attracted to me. He laughed— no seriously, he said I’m crazy. He loves me and doesn’t care if I gain more weight. He meant it…well, then I start crying more..he really, really loves ME.
Anyway, we’re hoping to get this under control soon. It’s so frustrating…my stupid body, with it’s malabsorption issues playing with my meds, and now my body believes I’m starving. Bah-ha-ha….wish it would get with the program, because I’m growing tired of these stupid things.
I work out, I gain weight. I eat light, I gain weight…I eat normal, I gain weight…I work out harder…I gain weight. Yeah- *shrugs* It is what it is. I guess I’m grateful I can still walk and sing and laugh and dance and live life fully….it could be worse, I just don’t want to get bigger.
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